The Best Way to Find Yourself

I have two pieces of good news for you. One is that we are now three days past the shortest day of the year. To you who find yourselves with winter blues in the short hours of daylight, we are past the worst and it only gets better from here! The second piece of encouragement is something I uncovered years ago during the figuratively dark days of my life. My hope is that by sharing this with you, my dear reader, you will know without a doubt and regardless of your struggle, you aren't alone. Better yet, there's something you can do today, and every day, to feel more connected with others and the purpose your life has.

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others"- Mahatma Gandhi.

Pausing here, I want to clarify that I don't mean to imply you should deny yourself and focus on others. It's not an either/or deal here. Instead, if you focus on others and observe yourself while getting your hands in the mix, I believe that's more in the spirit of what Gandhi meant here. This is about finding yourself, after all. Not denying or ignoring.

Let me illustrate this further... Take a moment and envision yourself helping someone.

From simply holding a door open to volunteering in a soup kitchen. Whatever speaks to you, play the image of you serving others in your head. Include detail. How do you appear in this situation? How are others responding to you? What would it be like if you felt this way at least once a day, or once a week? How would it be to know that you could impact others in this way often and with predictability? Now, notice what is happening inside your body as you imagine this. Are you lighter? Is your breathing a bit easier? What would it mean knowing you could have access to this feeling regularly? Lastly and most importantly, how would you feel about who you are?

With this perspective, I find these words to be unwaveringly true. If you doubt your true nature, question your purpose or identity, this is such a painful disconnection with your true self. It's too much to bear without becoming caustic to yourself or others. We get a wobbly internal compass and little security. We are just reactive and unsure. I've been there. We all have. It's one thing to live there for a day, a week, or a month. However, it's entirely different to live in disconnection and loss of self without end in sight. You deserve better than that because if you have survived struggles and pain, there is something in you that must know there's something worth surviving for. Something with purpose. If you're unsure of who you are or the heading you should take, start with finding yourself, or coming back to yourself. My sincere hope is that you will find your purpose there.

From personal experience surviving incredibly painful trauma, I've never felt closer to my higher power and purpose in life than when I tried to see the world through someone else's eyes. For me, it started with volunteering at the local animal shelter in the upstate of South Carolina. Sometimes it was a mission trip, working as a nurse assistant at skilled nursing facilities or hospice agencies. No matter your personal preference, take time to look at what's available in your area that speaks to you.

As you know, Tides Therapy & Consulting has grown this past year into a group practice. Because of this growth, we're now able to offer trauma recovery support to more people with a wider demographic. We're glad to say that we are now offering trauma recovery support to victims of human trafficking, caregivers for the elderly, and addictions recovery with local partnering organizations. If you are looking to get involved, you might consider a donation to fund trauma recovery therapy for some of our participants. You can send a donation using Venmo to @tidestherapy. Any amount is helpful. One session can be funded by as little as $100. For more information, please contact info@tidestherapy.com.

Regardless of your path to finding yourself and true selfless service of others, please know that I see you and honor the light within you.